5 Ways to Personalise A Ceremony: Free Guide + Workbook
Photo by Cloud Catcher Studio
When it comes to creating a ceremony I don’t think there’s anything more important than capturing the essence of the people or person it ‘s celebrating. When we perform rituals and carry out traditions, we want them to feel relevant and meaningful, and I find it’s the personal touches that really make those moments hit home. Case in point (pictured above) Issy riding in on the back of a ute with her parents was the best entrance to kick off her farm wedding ceremony.
So how do we do it?
I’ve collated the following tips and tricks based on examples that I’ve seen work really well in ceremonies – specifically weddings and funerals but most if not all of these ideas are transferrable to any kind of ceremony you might be creating whether it’s a baby naming, renewal of vows, or celebration of life (all of which I’m up for by the way).
When thinking about your own ceremony, don’t be afraid to get creative or think outside the box. Golden nuggets are only found once we do a little digging, so let’s unearth some meaningful moments together. Continuing reading below or download the guide – it includes a workbook at the end to help get the juices flowing.
Tip One: Look To Legacy
I’ve observed that some of the most powerful and simple elements in a ceremony come from honouring those before us. Look to your family history to acknowledge and include your loved ones.
Examples:
Maddi’s godfather performed a Greek wedding ritual for her and Sam called the’ stefanas’ or ‘wedding crowns’ – the very same stefanas from Maddi’s mother’s wedding
Georgia & Matt displayed photos of their grandparents on their wedding day next to the guest book.
Holly’s grandmother read a blessing on behalf of the family during her’s and Alex’s ceremony
Issy & Campbell signed their marriage paperwork with the pen Campbell’s parents signed their paperwork with
Laura & Ben used Laura’s great-grandmother’s veil as a table cloth over their singing table
Marcelle wore her mother’s veil from her wedding in the 70s (so chic)
Photos by Lover of Mine, Aimee Catt, and Ben Sowry
Tip Two: Embrace Story & Serendipity
Everyone has a story, a shared passion, a ‘thing’ and I’m a big believer in incorporating that very thing that makes your love unique. Is there a particular thing you’ve bonded over or known for – a musician, a sports team, a hobby?
Examples:
Nikki & Romin met on a construction site, so during their ceremony they sealed up their vows alongside a bottle of wine in a wooden box – while wearing safety goggles of course!
When they first started dating Sam went to Europe for 6 months and started sending Jen postcards. It became a theme in their relationship - whenever he’d go somewhere new he’d send her a postcard. So we wrote his vows on a postcard too so he could ‘deliver’ them to Jen once he’d read them
Jean & Rhys were at a loss for wedding rings until Jean’s aunty found two rings that she’d kept in a gelatin box on her kitchen shelf for years – and presented them in the same box!
During COVID Issy’s sister couldn’t attend so she recorded Taylor Swift’s ‘Lover’ on the harp for Issy’s entrance. We later used the lyrics in the “I do’s” – “Do you take this magnetic force of a man to be your lover?”
Photos by Jenna Agius and Aimee Catt
Tip Three: Experiment With The Non-Traditional
Not every tradition or ritual is going to sit with you well, and that’s ok. Maybe you’re a bride who doesn’t want to be “given away” but still wants to respect your family’s values, or maybe you want a civil ceremony but would like to incorporate a religious element. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Know that subtle changes can make a big impact!
Examples:
Create your own entrance style by walking in together, or with a parent on each arm. Don’t have a bridal party? Ask your mums to walk in first with your pets!
Your ring bearer doesn’t have to be human. Jules and Tay called on their sweet hound to present their rings (stored safely in her coat)
During funerals guests can write messages of love on the coffin or share a toast with the person’s favourite cocktail
Don’t feel comfortable sharing personal vows but still want to exchange them? Share them in private before the ceremony during your ‘first look’
Include the person’s favourite recipe on the funeral booklet so loved ones can cook a meal to feel closer to them
Photos by Lauren McLean, Joshua Mikhaiel, Courtesy of Picaluna, and Lara Hotz
Tip Four: Favour Your Flavour
Don’t worry about what you ‘should’ have at your wedding and instead prioritise what YOU want at your wedding. Hire non-wedding vendors, hire your friends, embrace your own style and aesthetic wherever possible.
Examples:
Emma & Marichi hired a local baker to create a dessert table as well as their favourite local restaurant to cater ( it was the best food I’ve ever had at a wedding). Read more about their killer DIY wedding here.
Izzy & Campbell got married in their backyard and had a florist create an arbor using the hills hoist – it was gorgeous!
Marcelle & Josh’s friends painted their welcome sign
Place vegetables on their coffin instead of flowers but they loved carrots that much!
Wear whatever colour you like – brides don’t have to wear white
Photos by Ariana Harry, Ben Sowry, Maddie Keinonen & Dan Sergiacomi, Co-op
Tip Five: Do What Feels Right
I could also title this tip ‘Be true to your values’. Trust your gut. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about traditions, language, aesthetics, anything. Your ceremony should be a reflection of you and your love and that can be a difficult truth to own and action, but at the end of the day that’s who it’s about and it’s who I’m here to serve.
Examples:
Want it to feel relaxed? Offer a glass of bubbles or signature cocktail on arrival
Amy & Kat wanted their sister to be their celebrant but she wasn’t registered yet, so we had an intimate legal ceremony at their accommodation a few hours before Kat’s sister conducted a commitment ceremony before their reception
To mark the beginning of their new family (and to divide the name-change admin evenly) Kezia and Ben created an original last name and we announced it and the story behind the name during the ceremony
Meaghan & Shaun eloped in a cabin with just two witnesses and their puppies present (and if they could have signed the paperwork they would have!)
Feeling less performative? Instead of a formal entrance, greet your guests on arrival and start the ceremony when you feel like it.
Photos by Tropical Romance and Aimee Catt
The Real Secret To Personalising Your Ceremony?
A celebrant who sees you.
While you can select and tailor the elements as you like, it’s ultimately in your celebrant’s hands to craft and perform a ceremony that feels personal, authentic, and meaningful. If that sounds like what you’re after, get in touch!
Photo by Murray Redpath